Breaking Up

with your Therapist

Heather Rafanello, MSW, LCSW

@GrowingMindsetTherapy

“I’ve made huge strides in my life thanks to my therapist, but I feel like I’ve outgrown them."

"Do I need to break up with my therapist?" 

"How do I know when it’s time to move on?”

A Therapist's Advice on Breaking Up with your Therapist

In love and in therapy, cutting ties is never easy. You've heard it before: people come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Before you roll your eyes at the cliché, consider the fact that growth means change. Sometimes your therapeutic journey takes you in a new direction, and that’s okay. It doesn’t mean the work you’ve done together wasn’t meaningful or transformative. This responsibility doesn't fall entirely on you as the client, good therapists are navigating these conversations as they arise too. So, how do you know when it’s time to break up with your therapist?

The truth is, if you respect your therapist and have gained valuable insight from them, the idea of moving on can feel overwhelming. Still, sticking around in therapy out of obligation isn’t helpful to either of you. But how do you know when it’s time to say, "It’s not you, it’s me"? 

Here are three signs it might be time to move on

You feel like you’re no longer growing

Ah, when the client becomes the self-aware master! Secret: we want this for you! Your goals are our goals too. If you truly feel like you've gained the skills and insight to navigate life without needing regular sessions, this might be your sign to graduate. Therapy isn’t supposed to be forever; it’s meant to give you tools to thrive on your own.

Your needs and goals have shifted

Maybe you started therapy for anxiety, but now you’re diving into deep childhood trauma, and your therapist’s approach no longer aligns with what you need. Or perhaps you've discovered a new issue that requires specialized expertise. If what you need is outside their wheelhouse, it might be time to find someone who better fits your new path. I'd encourage you to explore this with your therapist.

Your lifestyle has changed

Maybe you started therapy during a crisis but now feel more stable, or your packed schedule makes weekly sessions impossible. Life ebbs and flows, and therapy should work for you—not feel like a chore. If your circumstances make it hard to stay engaged, it could be time for a pause or a switch.

Why we 💚 Breakups

Unlike romantic breakups, where you might want to block and delete, therapy breakups don’t have to be all-or-nothing. This unique dynamic often allows you to experience a positive breakup - yes, a positive breakup. You can schedule a graduation session to review your growth, express gratitude, and even keep the door open for future check-ins. I pinky promise, a good therapist will understand! As silly as it may sound, I tell each of my clients that my goal is to get fired - I want for you to trust yourself with navigating challenges on your own, without my support.

🪴 GMT Tip: Thinking about trying a new therapist? Just like dating, sometimes you need to meet a few different people before finding the right fit. Trust your gut and prioritize what works best for you.

🎯 The TL;DR:

A summary for skimmers. If you feel like you’ve learned what you needed, your goals have shifted, you don't vibe with your therapist, or your lifestyle no longer supports therapy, it might be time to move on. Therapy is a tool, not a life sentence. Trust yourself to know when it’s time to say, "Thank you, next!"

DISCLAIMER: This article is not intended to treat, or diagnose and medical conditions, nor is it a replacement for mental health or medical treatment. Many individuals require lifelong support, and this article is written for those who are seeking episodic support, and not intended to discredit the experiences of those needing longe term care. If you or someone you know is in need of clinical support, our team is able to provide therapy services to those in NJ and FL. Contact us to learn more. If you or someone you know is in need of immediate support please contact emergency services. U.S. Mental health crisis line: dial 988 ; medical emergency dial 911